|www.ebbemunk.dkThrough the Looking-Glass|
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Through the Looking-Glass, Chapters:
1. Looking-Glass House
2. The Garden of Live Flowers
3. Looking-Glass Insects
4. Tweedledum and Tweedledee
5. Wool and Water
6. Humpty Dumpty
7. The Lion and the Unicorn
8. 'It's my own Invention'
9. Queen Alice
12. Which Dreamed it?
Dramatis Personae, Preface, etc.
Alice in Wonderland
Of course the first thing to do was to make a grand survey of the country she was going to travel through. 'It's something very like learning geography,' thought Alice, as she stood on tiptoe in hopes of being able to see a little further. 'Principal rivers -- there are none. Principal mountains -- I'm on the only one, but I don't think it's got any name. Principal towns -- why, what are those creatures, making honey down there? They can't be bees -- nobody ever saw bees a mile off, you know - - ' and for some time she stood silent, watching one of them that was bustling about among the flowers, poking its proboscis into them, 'just as if it was a regular bee,' thought Alice.
However, this was anything but a regular bee: in fact it was an elephant -- as Alice soon found out, though the idea quite took her breath away at first. 'And what enormous flowers they must be!' was her next idea. 'Something like cottages with the roofs taken off, and stalks put to them -- and what quantities of honey they must make! I think I'll go down and -- no, I won't just yet, ' she went on, checking herself just as she was beginning to run down the hill, and trying to find some excuse for turning shy so suddenly. 'It'll never do to go down among them without a good long branch to brush them away -- and what fun it'll be when they ask me how I like my walk. I shall say -- "Oh, I like it well enough -- "' (here came the favourite little toss of the head), '"only it was so dusty and hot, and the elephants did tease so!"'
'I think I'll go down the other way,' she said after a pause: 'and perhaps I may visit the elephants later on. Besides, I do so want to get into the Third Square!'
So with this excuse she ran down the hill and jumped over the first of the six little brooks.
* * * * * * *
'Tickets, please!' said the Guard, putting his head in at the window. In a moment everybody was holding out a ticket: they were about the same size as the people, and quite seemed to fill the carriage.
'Now then! Show your ticket, child!' the Guard went on, looking angrily at Alice. And a great many voices all said together ('like the chorus of a song,' thought Alice), 'Don't keep him waiting, child! Why, his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute!'
'I'm afraid I haven't got one,' Alice said in a frightened tone: 'there wasn't a ticket-office where I came from." And again the chorus of voices went on. 'There wasn't room for one where she came from. The land there is worth a thousand pounds an inch!'
'Don't make excuses,' said the Guard: 'you should have bought one from the engine-driver.' And once more the chorus of voices went on with 'The man that drives the engine. Why, the smoke alone is worth a thousand pounds a puff!'
Alice thought to herself, 'Then there's no use in speaking." The voices didn't join in this time, as she hadn't spoken, but to her great surprise, they all thought in chorus (I hope you understand what thinking in chorus means -- for I must confess that I don't), 'Better say nothing at all. Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!'
'I shall dream about a thousand pounds tonight, I know I shall!' thought Alice.
All this time the Guard was looking at her, first through a telescope, then through a microscope, and then through an opera-glass. At last he said, 'You're travelling the wrong way,' and shut up the window and went away.
'So young a child,' said the gentleman sitting opposite to her (he was dressed in white paper), 'ought to know which way she's going, even if she doesn't know her own name!'
A Goat, that was sitting next to the gentleman in white, shut his eyes and said in a loud voice, 'She ought to know her way to the ticket-office, even if she doesn't know her alphabet!'
There was a Beetle sitting next to the Goat (it was a very queer carriage-full of passengers altogether), and, as the rule seemed to be that they should all speak in turn, he went on with 'She'll have to go back from here as luggage!'
Alice couldn't see who was sitting beyond the Beetle, but a hoarse voice spoke next. 'Change engines -- ' it said, and was obliged to leave off.
'It sounds like a horse,' Alice thought to herself. And an extremely small voice, close to her ear, said, 'You might make a joke on that -- something about "horse" and "hoarse," you know.'
Then a very gentle voice in the distance said, 'She must be labelled "Lass, with care," you know -- '
And after that other voices went on (What a number of people there are in the carriage!' thought Alice), saying, 'She must go by post, as she's got a head on her -- ' 'She must be sent as a message by the telegraph -- ' 'She must draw the train herself the rest of the way -- ' and so on.
But the gentleman dressed in white paper leaned forwards and whispered in her ear, 'Never mind what they all say, my dear, but take a return-ticket every time the train stops."
'Indeed I shan't!' Alice said rather impatiently. 'I don't belong to this railway journey at all -- I was in a wood just now -- and I wish I could get back there.'
'You might make a joke on that, said the little voice close to her ear: 'something about "you would if you could," you know.'
'Don't tease so,' said Alice, looking about in vain to see where the voice came from; 'if you're so anxious to have a joke made, why don't you make one yourself?'
The little voice sighed deeply: it was very unhappy, evidently, and Alice would have said something pitying to comfort it, 'If it would only sigh like other people!' she thought. But this was such a wonderfully small sigh, that she wouldn't have heard it at all, if it hadn't come quite close to her ear. The consequence of this was that it tickled her ear very much, and quite took off her thoughts from the unhappiness of the poor little creature.
'I know you are a friend, the little voice went on; 'a dear friend, and an old friend. And you won't hurt me, though I am an insect.'
'What kind of insect?' Alice inquired a little anxiously. What she really wanted to know was, whether it could sting or not, but she thought this wouldn't be quite a civil question to ask.
'What, then you don't -- ' the little voice began, when it was drowned by a shrill scream from the engine, and everybody jumped up in alarm, Alice among the rest.
The Horse, who had put his head out of the window, quietly drew it in and said, 'It's only a brook we have to jump over.' Everybody seemed satisfied with this, though Alice felt a little nervous at the idea of trains jumped at all. 'However, it'll take us into the Fourth Square, that's some comfort!' she said to herself. In another moment she felt the carriage rise straight up into the air, and in her fright she caught at the thing nearest to her hand. which happened to be the Goat's beard.
* * * * * * *
But the beard seemed to melt away as she touched it, and she found herself sitting quietly under a tree -- while the Gnat (for that was the insect she had been talking to) was balancing itself on a twig just over her head, and fanning her with its wings.
It certainly was a very large Gnat: 'about the size of a chicken,' Alice thought. Still, she couldn't feel nervous with it, after they had been talking together so long.
' -- then you don't like all insects?' the Gnat went on, as quietly as if nothing had happened.
'I like them when they can talk,' Alice said. 'None of them ever talk, where I come from.'
'What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where you come from?' the Gnat inquired.
'I don't rejoice in insects at all,' Alice explained, 'because I'm rather afraid of them -- at least the large kinds. But I can tell you the names of some of them."
'Of course they answer to their names?' the Gnat remarked carelessly.
'I never knew them do it.'
'What's the use of their having names the Gnat said, 'if they won't answer to them?'
'No use to them,' said Alice; 'but it's useful to the people who name them, I suppose. If not, why do things have names at all?'
'I can't say,' the Gnat replied. 'Further on, in the wood down there, they've got no names -- however, go on with your list of insects: you're wasting time.'
'Well, there's the Horse-fly,' Alice began, counting off the names on her fingers.
'All right,' said the Gnat: 'half way up that bush, you'll see a Rocking-horse-fly, if you look. It's made entirely of wood, and gets about by swinging itself from branch to branch.'
'What does it live on?' Alice asked, with great curiosity.
'Sap and sawdust,' said the Gnat. 'Go on with the list.'
Alice looked up at the Rocking-horse-fly with great interest, and made up her mind that it must have been just repainted, it looked so bright and sticky; and then she went on.
'And there's the Dragon-fly.'
'Look on the branch above your head,' said the Gnat, 'and there you'll find a snap-dragon-fly. Its body is made of plum-pudding, its wings of holly-leaves, and its head is a raisin burning in brandy.'
'And what does it live on?'
'Frumenty and mince pie,' the Gnat replied; 'and it makes is nest in a Christmas box.'
'And then there's the Butterfly,' Alice went on, after she had taken a good look at the insect with its head on fire, and had thought to herself, 'I wonder if that's the reason insects are so fond of flying into candles -- because they want to turn into Snap-dragon-flies!'
'Crawling at your feet,' said the Gnat (Alice drew her feet back in some alarm), 'you may observe a Bread-and-Butterfly. Its wings are thin slices of Bread-and-butter, its body is a crust, and its head is a lump of sugar.'
'And what does it live on?'
'Weak tea with cream in it.'
A new difficulty came into Alice's head. 'Supposing it couldn't find any?' she suggested.
'Then it would die, of course.'
'But that must happen very often,' Alice remarked thoughtfully.
'It always happens,' said the Gnat.
After this, Alice was silent for a minute or two, pondering. The Gnat amused itself meanwhile by humming round and round her head: at last it settled again and remarked, 'I suppose you don't want to lose your name?'
'No, indeed,' Alice said, a little anxiously.
'And yet I don't know,' the Gnat went on in a careless tone: 'only think how convenient it would be if you could manage to go home without it! For instance, if the governess wanted to call you to your lessons, she would call out "come here -- ," and there she would have to leave off, because there wouldn't be any name for her to all, and of course you wouldn't have to go, you know.'
'That would never do, I'm sure,' said Alice: 'the governess would never think of excusing me lessons for that. If she couldn't remember my name, she'd call me "Miss!" as the servants do.'
'Well. if she said "Miss," and didn't say anything more,' the Gnat remarked, 'of course you'd miss your lessons. That's a joke. I wish you had made it.'
'Why do you wish I had made it?' Alice asked. 'It's a very bad one.'
But the Gnat only sighed deeply, while two large tears came rolling down its cheeks.
'You shouldn't make jokes,' Alice said, 'if it makes you so unhappy.'
Then came another of those melancholy little sighs, and this time the poor Gnat really seemed to have sighed itself away, for, when Alice looked up, there was nothing whatever to be seen on the twig, and, as she was getting quite chilly with sitting still so, long she got up and walked on.
She very soon came to an open field, with a wood on the other side of it: it looked much darker than the last wood, and Alice felt a little timid about going into it. However, on second thoughts, she made up her mind to go on: 'for I certainly won't go back,' she thought to herself, and this was the only way to the Eighth Square.
'This must be the wood, she said thoughtfully to herself, 'where things have no names. I wonder what'll become of my name when I go in? I shouldn't like to lose it at all -- because they'd have to give me another, and it would be almost certain to be an ugly one. But then the fun would be, trying to find the creature that had got my old name! That's just like the advertisements, you know, when people lose dogs -- "answers to the name of 'Dash:' had on a brass collar" -- just fancy calling everything you met "Alice," till one of them answered! Only they wouldn't answer at all, if they were wise.'
She was rambling on in this way when she reached the wood: it looked very cool and shady. 'Well, at any rate it's a great comfort,' she said as she stepped under the trees, 'after being so hot, to get into the -- into what?' she went on, rather surprised at not being able to think of the word. 'I mean to get under the -- under the -- under this, you know!' putting her hand on the trunk of the tree. 'What does it call itself, I wonder? I do believe it's got no name -- why, to be sure it hasn't!'
She stood silent for a minute, thinking: then she suddenly began again. 'Then it really has happened, after all! And how, who am I? I will remember, if I can! I'm determined to do it!' But being determined didn't help much, and all she could say, after a great deal of puzzling, was,'L, I know it begins with L!'
Just then a Fawn came wandering by: it looked at Alice with its large gentle eyes, but didn't seem at all frightened. 'Here then! Here then!' Alice said, as he held out her hand and tried to stroke it; but it only started back a little, and then stood looking at her again.
'What do you call yourself?' the Fawn said at last. Such a soft sweet voice it had!
'I wish I knew!' thought poor Alice. She answered, rather sadly, 'Nothing, just now.'
'Think again,' it said: 'that won't do.'
Alice thought, but nothing came of it. 'Please, would you tell me what you call yourself?' she said timidly. 'I think that might help a little.'
'I'll tell you, of you'll move a little further on,' the Fawn said. 'I can't remember here.'
So they walked on together though the wood, Alice with her arms clasped lovingly round the soft neck of the Fawn, till they came out into another open field, and here the Fawn gave a sudden bound into the air, and shook itself free from Alice's arms.
'I'm a Fawn!' it cried out in a voice of delight, 'and, dear me! you're a human child!' A sudden look of alarm came into its beautiful brown eyes, and in another moment it had darted away a full speed.
Alice stood looking after it, almost ready to cry with vexation at having lost her dear little fellow-traveller so suddenly. 'However, I know my name now.' she said, 'that's some comfort. Alice -- Alice -- I won't forget it again. And now, which of these finger-posts ought I to follow, I wonder?'
It was not a very difficult question to answer, as there was only one road through the wood, and the two finger-posts both pointed along it. 'I'll settle it,' Alice said to herself, 'when the road divides and they point different ways.'
But this did not seem likely to happen. She went on and on, a long way, but wherever the road divided there were sure to be two finger-posts pointing the same way, one marked 'To Tweedledum's House' and the other 'To The House Of Tweedledee.'
'I do believe,' said Alice at last, 'that they live in the same house! I wonder I never thought of that before -- But I can't stay there long. I'll just call and say "how d'you do?" and ask them the way out of the wood. If I could only get the Eighth Square before it gets dark!' So she wandered on, talking to herself as she went, till, on turning a sharp corner, she came upon two fat little men, so suddenly that she could not help starting back, but in another moment she recovered herself, feeling sure that they must be
They were standing under a tree, each with an arm round the other's neck, and Alice knew which was which in a moment, because one of them had 'Dum' embroidered on his collar, and the other 'Dee.' 'I suppose they've each got "Tweedle" round at the back of the collar,' she said to herself.
They stood so still that she quite forgot they were alive, and she was just looking round to see if the word "Tweedle" was written at the back of each collar, when she was startled by a voice coming from the one marked 'Dum.'
'If you think we're wax-works,' he said, 'you ought to pay, you know. Wax-works weren't made to be looked at for nothing, Nohow!'
'Contrariwise,' added the one marked 'Dee,' 'if you think we're alive, you ought to speak.'
'I'm sure I'm very sorry,' was all Alice could say; for the words of the old song kept ringing through her head like the ticking of a clock, and she could hardly help saying them out loud: --
'Tweedledum and Tweedledee Agreed to have a battle; For Tweedledum said Tweedledee Had spoiled his nice new rattle. Just then flew down a monstrous crow, As black as a tar-barrel; Which frightened both the heroes so, They quite forgot their quarrel.'
'I know what you're thinking about,' said Tweedledum: 'but it isn't so, nohow.'
'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'
'I was thinking,' Alice said very politely, 'which is the best way out of this wood: it's getting so dark. Would you tell me, please?'
But the little men only looked at each other and grinned.
They looked so exactly like a couple of great schoolboys, that Alice couldn't help pointing her finger at Tweedledum, and saying 'First Boy!'
'Nohow!' Tweedledum cried out briskly, and shut his mouth up again with a snap.
'Next Boy!' said Alice, passing on to Tweedledee, though she felt quite certain he would only shout out "Contrariwise!' and so he did.
'You've been wrong!' cried Tweedledum. 'The first thing in a visit is to say "How d'ye do?" and shake hands!' And here the two brothers gave each other a hug, and then they held out the two hands that were free, to shake hands with her.
Alice did not like shaking hands with either of them first, for fear of hurting the other one's feelings; so, as the best way out of the difficulty, she took hold of both hands at once: the next moment they were dancing found in a ring. This seemed quite natural (she remembered afterwards), and she was not even surprised to hear music playing: it seemed to come from the tree under which they were dancing, and it was done (as well as she could make it out) by the branches rubbing one across the other, like fiddles and fiddle-sticks.
'But it certainly was funny,' (Alice said afterwards, when she was telling her sister the history of all this,) 'to find myself singing "Here we go round the mulberry bush." I don't know when I began it, but somehow I felt as if I'd been singing it a long long time!'
The other two dancers were fat, and very soon out of breath. 'Four times round is enough for one dance,' Tweedledum panted out, and they left off dancing as suddenly as they had begun: the music stopped at the same moment.
Then they let go of Alice's hands, and stood looking at her for a minute: there was a rather awkward pause, as Alice didn't know how to begin a conversation with people she had just been dancing with. 'It would never do to say "How d'ye do?" now,' she said to herself: 'we seem to have got beyond that, somehow!'
'I hope you're not much tired?' she said at last.
'Nohow. And thank you very much for asking,' said Tweedledum.
'So much obliged!' added Tweedledee. 'You like poetry?'
'Ye-es. pretty well -- some poetry,' Alice said doubtfully. 'Would you tell me which road leads out of the wood?'
'What shall I repeat to her?' said Tweedledee, looking round at Tweedledum with great solemn eyes, and not noticing Alice's question.
'"The Walrus and the Carpenter" is the longest,' Tweedledum replied, giving his brother an affectionate hug.
Tweedledee began instantly:
'The sun was shining -- '
Here Alice ventured to interrupt him. 'If it's very long,' she said, as politely as she could, 'would you please tell me first which road -- '
Tweedledee smiled gently, and began again:
'The sun was shining on the sea, Shining with all his might: He did his very best to make The billows smooth and bright -- And this was odd, because it was The middle of the night. The moon was shining sulkily, Because she thought the sun Had got no business to be there After the day was done -- "It's very rude of him," she said, "To come and spoil the fun!" The sea was wet as wet could be, The sands were dry as dry. You could not see a cloud, because No cloud was in the sky: No birds were flying over head -- There were no birds to fly.
The Walrus and the Carpenter Were walking close at hand; They wept like anything to see Such quantities of sand: "If this were only cleared away," They said, "it would be grand!" "If seven maids with seven mops Swept it for half a year, Do you suppose," the Walrus said, "That they could get it clear?" "I doubt it," said the Carpenter, And shed a bitter tear. "O Oysters, come and walk with us!" The Walrus did beseech. "A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, Along the briny beach: We cannot do with more than four, To give a hand to each." The eldest Oyster looked at him. But never a word he said: The eldest Oyster winked his eye, And shook his heavy head -- Meaning to say he did not choose To leave the oyster-bed. But four young oysters hurried up, All eager for the treat: Their coats were brushed, their faces washed, Their shoes were clean and neat -- And this was odd, because, you know, They hadn't any feet. Four other Oysters followed them, And yet another four; And thick and fast they came at last, And more, and more, and more -- All hopping through the frothy waves, And scrambling to the shore. The Walrus and the Carpenter Walked on a mile or so, And then they rested on a rock Conveniently low: And all the little Oysters stood And waited in a row.
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things: Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing-wax -- Of cabbages -- and kings -- And why the sea is boiling hot -- And whether pigs have wings." "But wait a bit," the Oysters cried, "Before we have our chat; For some of us are out of breath, And all of us are fat!" "No hurry!" said the Carpenter. They thanked him much for that. "A loaf of bread," the Walrus said, "Is what we chiefly need: Pepper and vinegar besides Are very good indeed -- Now if you're ready Oysters dear, We can begin to feed." "But not on us!" the Oysters cried, Turning a little blue, "After such kindness, that would be A dismal thing to do!" "The night is fine," the Walrus said "Do you admire the view? "It was so kind of you to come! And you are very nice!" The Carpenter said nothing but "Cut us another slice: I wish you were not quite so deaf -- I've had to ask you twice!" "It seems a shame," the Walrus said, "To play them such a trick, After we've brought them out so far, And made them trot so quick!" The Carpenter said nothing but "The butter's spread too thick!" "I weep for you," the Walrus said. "I deeply sympathize." With sobs and tears he sorted out Those of the largest size. Holding his pocket handkerchief Before his streaming eyes. "O Oysters," said the Carpenter. "You've had a pleasant run! Shall we be trotting home again?" But answer came there none -- And that was scarcely odd, because They'd eaten every one.'
'I like the Walrus best,' said Alice: 'because you see he was a little sorry for the poor oysters.'
'He ate more than the Carpenter, though,' said Tweedledee. 'You see he held his handkerchief in front, so that the Carpenter couldn't count how many he took: contrariwise.'
'That was mean!' Alice said indignantly. 'Then I like the Carpenter best -- if he didn't eat so many as the Walrus.'
'But he ate as many as he could get,' said Tweedledum.
This was a puzzler. After a pause, Alice began, 'Well! They were both very unpleasant characters -- ' Here she checked herself in some alarm, at hearing something that sounded to her like the puffing of a large steam-engine in the wood near them, thought she feared it was more likely to be a wild beast. 'Are there any lions or tigers about here?' she asked timidly.
'It's only the Red King snoring,' said Tweedledee.
'Come and look at him!' the brothers cried, and they each took one of Alice's hands, and led her up to where the King was sleeping.
'Isn't he a lovely sight?" said Tweedledum.
Alice couldn't say honestly that he was. He had a tall red night-cap on, with a tassel, and he was lying crumpled up into a sort of untidy heap, and snoring loud -- 'fit to snore his head off!' as Tweedledum remarked.
'I'm afraid he'll catch cold with lying on the damp grass,' said Alice, who was a very thoughtful little girl.
'He's dreaming now,' said Tweedledee: 'and what do you think he's dreaming about?'
Alice said 'Nobody can guess that.'
'Why, about you!' Tweedledee exclaimed, clapping his hands triumphantly. 'And if he left off dreaming about you, where do you suppose you'd be?'
'Where I am now, of course,' said Alice.
'Not you!' Tweedledee retorted contemptuously. 'You'd be nowhere. Why, you're only a sort of thing in his dream!'
'If that there King was to wake,' added Tweedledum, 'you'd go out -- bang! -- just like a candle!'
'I shouldn't!' Alice exclaimed indignantly. 'Besides, if I'm only a sort of thing in his dream, what are you, I should like to know?'
'Ditto' said Tweedledum.
'Ditto, ditto' cried Tweedledee.
He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn't help saying, 'Hush!
You'll be waking him, I'm afraid, if you make so much noise.'
'Well, it no use your talking about waking him,' said Tweedledum, 'when you're only one of the things in his dream. You know very well you're not real.'
'I am real!' said Alice and began to cry.
'You won't make yourself a bit realler by crying,' Tweedledee remarked: 'there's nothing to cry about.'
'If I wasn't real,' Alice said -- half-laughing though her tears, it all seemed so ridiculous -- 'I shouldn't be able to cry.'
'I hope you don't suppose those are real tears?' Tweedledum interrupted in a tone of great contempt.
'I know they're talking nonsense,' Alice thought to herself: 'and it's foolish to cry about it.' So she brushed away her tears, and went on as cheerfully as she could. 'At any rate I'd better be getting out of the wood, for really it's coming on very dark. Do you think it's going to rain?'
Tweedledum spread a large umbrella over himself and his brother, and looked up into it. 'No, I don't think it is,' he said: 'at least -- not under here. Nohow.'
'But it may rain outside?'
'It may -- if it chooses,' said Tweedledee: 'we've no objection. Contrariwise.'
'Selfish things!' thought Alice, and she was just going to say 'Good-night' and leave them, when Tweedledum sprang out from under the umbrella and seized her by the wrist.
'Do you see that?' he said, in a voice choking with passion, and his eyes grew large and yellow all in a moment, as he pointed with a trembling finger at a small white thing lying under the tree.
'It's only a rattle,' Alice said, after a careful examination of the little white thing. 'Not a rattle snake, you know,' she added hastily, thinking that he was frightened: only an old rattle -- quite old and broken.'
'I knew it was!' cried Tweedledum, beginning to stamp about wildly and tear his hair. 'It's spoilt, of course!' Here he looked at Tweedledee, who immediately sat down on the ground, and tried to hide himself under the umbrella.
Alice laid her hand upon his arm, and said in a soothing tone, 'You needn't be so angry about an old rattle.'
'But it isn't old!' Tweedledum cried, in a greater fury than ever. 'It's new, I tell you -- I bought it yesterday -- my nice NEW RATTLE!' and his voice rose to a perfect scream.
All this time Tweedledee was trying his best to fold up the umbrella, with himself in it: which was such an extraordinary thing to do, that it quite took off Alice's attention from the angry brother. But he couldn't quite succeed, and it ended in his rolling over, bundled up in the umbrella, with only his head out: and there he lay, opening and shutting his mouth and his large eyes -- 'looking more like a fish than anything else,' Alice thought.
'Of course you agree to have a battle?' Tweedledum said in a calmer tone.
'I suppose so,' the other sulkily replied, as he crawled out of the umbrella: 'only she must help us to dress up, you know.'
So the two brothers went off hand-in-hand into the wood, and returned in a minute with their arms full of things -- such as bolsters, blankets, hearth-rugs, table-cloths, dish-covers and coal-scuttles. 'I hope you're a good hand a pinning and tying strings?' Tweedledum remarked. 'Every one of these things has got to go on, somehow or other.'
Alice said afterwards she had never seen such a fuss made about anything in all her life -- the way those two bustled about -- and the quantity of things they put on -- and the trouble they gave her in tying strings and fastening buttons -- 'Really they'll be more like bundles of old clothes that anything else, by the time they're ready!' she said to herself, as he arranged a bolster round the neck of Tweedledee, 'to keep his head from being cut off,' as he said.
'You know,' he added very gravely, 'it's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off.'
Alice laughed loud: but she managed to turn it into a cough, for fear of hurting his feelings.
'Do I look very pale?' said Tweedledum, coming up to have his helmet tied on. (He called it a helmet, though it certainly looked much more like a saucepan.)
'Well -- yes -- a little,' Alice replied gently.
'I'm very brave generally,' he went on in a low voice: 'only to-day I happen to have a headache.'
'And I've got a toothache!' said Tweedledee, who had overheard the remark. 'I'm far worse off than you!'
'Then you'd better not fight to-day,' said Alice, thinking it a good opportunity to make peace.
'We must have a bit of a fight, but I don't care about going on long,' said Tweedledum. 'What's the time now?'
Tweedledee looked at his watch, and said 'Half-past four.'
'Let's fight till six, and then have dinner,' said Tweedledum.
'Very well,' the other said, rather sadly: 'and she can watch us -- only you'd better not come very close,' he added: 'I generally hit everything I can see -- when I get really excited.'
'And I hit everything within reach,' cried Tweedledum, 'whether I can see it or not!'
Alice laughed. 'You must hit the trees pretty often, I should think,' she said.
Tweedledum looked round him with a satisfied smile. I don't suppose,' he said, 'there'll be a tree left standing, for ever so far round, by the time we've finished!'
'And all about a rattle!' said Alice, still hoping to make them a little ashamed of fighting for such a trifle.
'I shouldn't have minded it so much,' said Tweedledum, 'if it hadn't been a new one.'
'I wish the monstrous crow would come!' though Alice.
'There's only one sword, you know,' Tweedledum said to his brother: 'but you can have the umbrella -- it's quite as sharp. Only we must begin quick. It's getting as dark as it can.'
'And darker.' said Tweedledee.
It was getting dark so suddenly that Alice thought there must be a thunderstorm coming on. 'What a thick black cloud that is!' she said. 'And how fast it comes! Why, I do believe it's got wings!'
'It's the crow!' Tweedledum cried out in a shrill voice of alarm: and the two brothers took to their heels and were out of sight in a moment.
Alice ran a little way into the wood, and stopped under a large tree. 'It can never get at me here,' she thought: 'it's far too large to squeeze itself in among the trees. But I wish it wouldn't flap its wings so -- it make quite a hurricane in the wood -- here's somebody's shawl being blown away!'
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